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Movie Review: Antichrist

Alternate Title: Nightmare on Elm Street

Story: Truth be told, my Wednesday movie buddy and I saw this film almost a month ago. I took off for a vacation the very next day, had no time to write a review and hated the film so much I decided not to spend time writing or thinking about the film. However, I have decided that it is my obligation to warn you NOT to see this film - ever.

Director and writer Lars Von Trier, apparently working through his own depression, managed to make me depressed in the process. Good going, Lars.

This pretentious piece of celluloid porn is about an unnamed couple (they are only referred to as 'he' and 'she') who are trying to work out their grief over the death of their baby (which occurs while the couple are shtupping all over the house). The film is divided into four chapters with a prologue and an epilogue. The prologue and epilogue are in black and white and the chapters are in color. Big whoop.

The graphic violence made me wince and cover my eyes. I almost left the theater but was too candy ass to leave. Be warned that the violence includes self-genital mutilation. I felt that Von Trier was just trying to shock us throughout the film. How many images do we really need of an erect penis anyway?

I hated both of the characters, had no sympathy for them and wanted them both to die. How's that?

Watch the trailer here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmKv_57fOvY

Acting: Charlotte Gainsbourg and Willem Dafoe are both powerful and dedicated actors. I just hated them in this film.

Trivia: Lars Von Trier in 1995, his dying mother told her son on her deathbed that the man he believed was his father was, in fact, was not. Following her death, he tracked down his biological father, a 90-year-old man who after four combative meetings told him that, if he wanted to speak to him again, he could do it through his lawyer. He broke up with his pregnant wife and moved in with their (much younger) babysitter. [1996] He added 'von' to his name because his peers at the Danish Film School called him so. Helped form a collective known as Dogme 95 with a group of other filmmakers. The collective agreed to make films following certain rules, such as using only hand held cameras and shooting only on location. The year von Trier won the Palme D'Or at the Cannes Film Festival, he almost did not attend the ceremony. He has so many phobias, he could only make the trip in a specially outfitted trailer.

Predilection: Dogville, Dancer in the Dark and Breaking the Waves are three of Von Trier's films that I liked.

Critters: I am a bit hazy on the number of animals in the film. If I recall correctly there is a talking fox that says 'chaos reigns,' a frightened deer, a scary crow and more woodsy animals.

Food: I do not remember

Sex Spectrum: Lots and lots of sex.

Soundtrack: Handel is played during the opening sequence. Very moving.

Visual Art: Other than the graphic sex and violence, the film is visually quite beautiful.

Theater Audience: Two other people.

Squirm Scale: I squirmed often.

Predictability Level: I dod not care what happened I just wanted the film to end.

Tissue Usage: I cried that I wasted my time and money.

Oscar Worthy: No

Big Screen or Rental: Neither.

Length: Too long at whatever length.

LOBO HOWLS: 2 (the opening scene was terrific)