Movie Review: The Closer You Get

Story: I saw this movie a while back, but couldn't bring myself to write the review. But in the spirit of movie reviewer honesty, here goes. With St. Patrick's Day fast approaching combined with my love of all things Irish, I thought I needed a wee' fix o' the green. What could possibly go wrong with a quirky comedy from the folks who brought us The Full Monty? Let me count the ways...

1. It started with a narrator (it did NOT need a narrator to explain anything).

2. It suffered from terminal cuteness.

3. Too many characters, not enough detail about them.

4. Not enough blarney.

5. Too much blarney.

Basically the story is about some horny Irish guys who place a classified wanted ad in a Miami paper for sporty women to come to Ireland. While waiting for the hordes of American gals who might answer this ad and flow into Ireland, these same guys find love in their own backyard. Way too much blarney! Or as they say in Dooblin, SHITE!

Acting: Everybody is too cute!

Pets: Some beautiful sheep and dogs.

Visual Art: None

Soundtrack: Fun

Sappy Factor: 8

Quirky Meter: 1

Tissue Usage: 0

Oscar Worthy: Ha!

Length: 92 minutes (thankfully)

LOBO HOWLS: 4