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| Movie Review: I am Legend Alternate Title: I am Schlock
Story: I am always interested
in seeing a film where NYC gets to be the star attraction. This one
was especially interesting to me because for many nights into dawn they
filmed the same car scene over and over and over again right outside
my building. I watched that nifty red car do really cool spins dozens
of times from my window perch. So, how could I not go see it? I was
also glad to see, after the first five minutes, that my apartment building
did not end up on the cutting room floor. Sadly, I could have easily
walked out after that five minutes. This pretty awful film was directed by Francis
Lawrence with a screenplay (if you can call it that) by Mark
Protosevich and Akiva Goldsman based on the
book by Richard Matheson. The good news is that there
were some visually exciting scenes showing an abandoned NYC. The bad
news, is just about everything else - except the dog named Samantha. The story is simple. A miraculous cure for cancer
mutates and wipes out 93% of the population. The remaining people apparently
get picked off at night time by wandering marauders who feed off of
their blood, called the Darksiders (I kept thinking they were called
Docksiders, and chuckled every time I heard their name). Our hero, Robert
Neville, is a military scientist who wanders the street by daylight
with his amazing dog and tries to contact anyone who still is alive.
At night, he hunkers down and hides from the Darksiders and tries to
find a cure for the disease. Do you really need to hear much more? Our hero simply does not pull off any emotional
heft that would have you believe in his cause and passion (although
we do get to see a very buff and toned Will Smith). The monsters are
really not that scary and the plot is too thin. However, if you like to see NYC, in yet another
film, check it out. Acting: Will Smith was not believable
as the last man on the planet. The dog, Samantha, was
believable as the last dog on the planet.
Predilection: I like films that star NYC.
Critters: The aforementioned German Shepherd, Samantha,
is the star of the film. She does not meet with a happy ending.
Food: There is lots of hunting for food, but little
gathering. Lions get to kill a deer, Will Smith gets to open lots of
cans of food. There is a whole lot of to do about eggs and bacon.
Sex Spectrum: Are you kidding?
Blatant Product Placement: It seems that the last
man on earth has chosen to stick with a Mac (good choice, Will).
Soundtrack: Typical horror film noise and some nice
tracks by Bob Marley.
Opening Titles: We get a quickie update on how we
got to where we are on this lonely planet.
Visual Art: Some really good digital shots of an
empty NYC and apparently our hero has taken some paintings from museums
to enjoy in his own home including a Van Gogh and a Rousseau.
Theater Audience: Pretty crowded for an early show
on a Thursday. Mostly guys.
Weather: The weather was very nice. I remember it
was filmed in the summer.
Sappy Factor: 0
Quirky Meter: 0
Squirm Scale: 3 - I do not like to see animals hurt.
Zombies do not bother me.
Drift Factor: I did not drift but I did eye roll a
bit.
Predictability Level: Higher than high.
Tissue Usage: 0
Oscar Worthy: Ha
Big Screen or Rental: If you like to watch NYC devoid
of people, check it out on the big screen. If the destruction of NYC
is something you like to watch, rent any or all of these films and watch
the Big Apple get baked, stomped, blown to smithereens, fried, frozen
and drowned. Deluge (1933), When Worlds Collide (1951), Invasion USA
(1952), Planet of the Apes (1968), Destroy All Monsters (1968), Meteor
(1979), Escape from New York (1981), Ghostbusters II (1989), Independence
Day (1996), Godzilla (1998), Armageddon (1998), Deep Impact (1998),
Aftershock: Earthquake in New York (1999), A.I.: Artificial Intelligence
(2001), The Day After Tomorrow (2004), Godzilla Final Wars (2004), Disaster
Zone: Volcano in New York (2006), Babylon 5: The Lost Tales (2007),
I Am Legend (2007) and the soon to be released, Cloverfield (2008)
Length: 100 minutes
LOBO HOWLS: 4
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