Movie Review: Luminous Motion

I know, I know - of late there seems to be an admission, disclaimer, bias or some other missive with each review, but today's events open a whole new chapter of weird and wacky cinema sagas. Wednesday mornings are my designated 'training' day for the upcoming NYC Marathon. We (my buddies) and I do some outrageously long trek to build stamina, strength and stubbornness. After we completed a 9 mile power workout we thought a movie would be a good idea. Our movie of choice was soon to start so we hauled out and ran to the theater (too stubborn to take a cab). Arriving, somewhat out of breath and sweaty, we reached the box office with one minute to spare when the 12 year old tells us she can't sell us any tickets because they have a new system and it wasn't ready. AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRUUUUGGGH! I had a little hissy fit, whined and even claimed I would pay on the way out of the theater. I think I frightened her and she phoned the manager who said Let 'em in for FREE! Jubilant we ran downstairs, JV got some popcorn, settled in during the previews and discovered we were the only two in the theater. A fantasy come true. And so...

Story: With the beginning of the film showing much promise we meet a mother and her 10 year old son (who is the dreaded narrator) in a sort of road movie. They crisscross the country in their old Impala, discussing philosophy and life while she turns tricks, robs the victims and they move on. He is deliriously happy and loves his mother in the classic Oedipal way. The story quickly falls apart, rambles and becomes head scratchingly weird. I like quirky, but this movie just was awful. The quirky factor can easily fall into the rotten movie zone. It is based on the novel by Scott Bradfield who also wrote the screenplay and was directed by Bette Gordon (Scream, Pretty Peggy). There are reminiscences of I see and speak to dead people and the Young Poisoner's Handbook but don't go - even for free.

Acting: Deborah Kara Unger (the blonde Canadian in Hurricane) does boozy and slutty pretty well but the script leaves her hanging and sleeping for the last half of the film. Eric Lloyd as the kid (Die Hard 2) was too sweet and cute looking to buy his psychosis.

Pets: None. Pets don't usually live in cars.

Visual Art: Again, there isn't much art in cars, but there were some mobiles.

Soundtrack: Awful

Theater Audience: Just me and my friend and we sat one seat apart for laughs.

Quirky Meter: 3

Oscar Worthy: No

Length: 94 minutes (seemed much longer).

LOBO HOWLS: 3