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Movie Review: Mr. & Mrs. Smith

Alternate Title: Insipid & Pointless

Story: What does a producer do when his expensive film turns out to be heartless, soulless and totally predictable? You just divert attention from the film and create a media frenzy about the stars' relationship outside of the film. Gossip over script will draw them into the theater.

The film is really two movies. The first part attempts to show us a marriage of two super pretty humans falling apart after five years. We get to learn early on that both characters are assassins leading sham lives.Part two becomes a shoot 'em up video game with pointless, improbable and redundant action. Director Doug Liman creates a sleek, very pretty to look at set with lots and lots of over the top action. Writer Simon Kinberg offers dialogue that is supposed to be cute and smart but falls flat on delivery by these two spiritless souls.

What did I like about the film? The ultra cold theater was a nice relief from the hot humid NYC weather.

Acting: Both Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are fascinating to watch as they attempt to show us they know something we don't know. Other than being very handsome and pretty they left me cold.

Predilection: I liked director Doug Liman's work on the Bourne Identity.

Critters: None

Food: Pot roast, peas, bread, champagne and wine.

Soundtrack: Loud

Opening Titles: I don't remember.

Visual Art: The film has a cool palette except when things explode.

Theater Audience: Very crowded for a Wednesday afternoon.

Sappy Factor: Insipid factor should be a replacement category for this film.

Quirky Meter: 0

Squirm Scale: 0

Drift Factor: I was adrift during lots of the film.

Predictability Level: Not only was the plot predictable but very line was predictable.

Tissue Usage: 0

Oscar Worthy: A big fat NO

Nit Picking: I am sorry I got suckered into seeing this film.

Big Screen or Rental: Neither. If you want to see a much better film along this line, rent Prizzi's Honor. The War of the Roses, while a bad film, is also interesting to watch.

Length: Too long at under two hours.

LOBO HOWLS: 2 (one for each Smith)