Movie Review: Star Wars: Episode 1

Story: The actual title is: Star Wars: Episode 1, The Phantom Menace, in a Galaxy Far, Far Away in Lands with a lot of Special Effects (this is a complete title, it just wouldn't fit on a Marquee). The story doesn't really matter. Some stuff about the Force (which seems to be just a lot of common sense and ESP...I mean, I could easily tell when trouble was right around the corner or who the bad guy was...hmmm, maybe I have the force too!) I tried to be the last person in America to see this movie, but maybe not. It has now grossed over ten trillion dollars (Lucas could be a nice guy and pay off our National Debt) and there are apparently 2 more episodes coming our way. OY! Anyhow, I started looking at my watch a mere 20 minutes into the film. I knew that wasn't a good sign.

Acting: I will see most anything with Liam Neeson (I even saw that awful thing with Jodie Foster where she couldn't speak any understandable language...oh oh, I am drifting again) Other than Liam, who looked like he had a stomach ache for two hours, there wasn't any acting that I could see. And many of the characters were hard to understand, but after awhile I realized it didn't matter what they were saying because any moment there would be another action scene and an even more special, larger, bigger effect.

Pets: There were probably a lot of pets (I think), but they don't breed them in this galaxy.

Sappy Factor: 4 ( It IS a kids movie)

Visual Art: No room for art with all of the special effects

LOBO HOWLS: 4 (way too long even though it was only 5 minutes over the 2 hour Lobo rule)